Kung Fu Panda Gender Bent
by ACComptonHeaven
Summary: Obviously from the title this is the entire Kung Fu Panda movie (word for word) where EVERYONE (minus a few minor character) are gender bent. This is going to be interesting. Rated T to be safe, but I doubt there will be anything that exceeds K ratings. So read and review and it'll make things go faster. I feel guilty making people wait so more reviews will make me update faster!
1. Po's Dream

Everyone is gender bended in this fanfiction. Po, the Furious five, master Shifu, Master Oogway, and everyone else in between. I'm not going to tell you all of their names at this moment, but I will tell you that I'm just going to be retelling Kung Fu Panda 1 and 2 with them all gender bended. There will be Tigress and Po love… even though I've never been the biggest fan of it, but I'll make it cute.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kung Fu Panda original characters, plot, or anything else in between. If I did… That wouldn't be good.

I hope you like it and here it is.

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_Legends tell of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend._ There was a silhouette of a panda walking on a long dock, water glistening from the setting sun on either side of her._ She searched the land in search of worthy foes._ She looked up from her sun hat at a small store that stood in the middle of the shimmering lake. She slams the door open and walks past many bandits of all shapes and sizes until she acquires the table she wanted in the back corner of the room. She gracefully sits down and picks up a pair of thin chopsticks. With them, she picks up a small dumping and places it in her mouth.

"I see you like to chew." Said an ox bandit. "Maybe you should chew ON MY FIST!" His fist slammed into the wooden table, causing a short gust of wind to brush past her baby soft fur.

_The warrior said nothing for her mouth was full. And then she swallowed. And then she spoke. _"Enough talk. Let's fight." _SHAHABOOEY! _She raised her fist and caused the small wooden table to burst on impact, blowing away the debris as well as the bandits that ganged up around her. She slammed her palms into the bandit leader first and then she knocked three other bandits away from her in a single strike. _She was so deadly in fact that her enemies would go blind from over exposure to pure awesomeness!_

"My eyes!" Cried out one bandit.

"She's too awesome!" Screamed a second bandit.

"And adorable!" Commented a small female rabbit.

"How can we repay you?" Asked a second rabbit, the owner of the shop. The warrioress sharply turned to the rabbit family and said, "There is no charge for awesomeness. Or adorableness." Suddenly, _KABLOOEY! _And though the roof she flew. _It mattered not how many foes she faces. _She began attacking the wolves and felines that began surrounding her in the sky. _They were no match for her bodacity! _Then she used a feet fury attack on the many bandits that came at her. Immediately, the wolves and felines merged together to attack as one, but with one flash of her eyes, they were all defeated and fell from the sky like rain.

The female warrior began her journey again, walking back over the river bridge. _Never before had a panda been so feared._ She glanced up at the mountain on the horizon._ And so loved. Even the most heroic warriors in all of China, the Furious Five, bowed in respect to this great master._

"We should hang out." Said the monkey master.

"Agreed." The warrioress said, her voice no louder than the wind itself. Then the six warriors fell into their attack positions and glanced out on the battlefield. _But hanging out would have to wait, 'cause when you're facing the 10,000 demons of Demon Mountain there's only one thing that matters and that's-_

"Po!" Cried out a voice from the side of her. She looked and found Master Monkey. "Get up!" She said in a voice that wasn't rightly his. She glanced to her other side and looked up at the tiger master. "You'll be late for work."

"What?" She asked no one in particular and fell into dark abyss of her dream world, but opened her eyes to the poster of Master Tiger on the roof of her ceiling. She yawned and said to herself quietly, "Good morning, Master Tiger." Before slowly sitting up and glancing at her poster covered walls. She sighed.

"Po! Get up!" Her mother called up the stairs, causing her to jump and knock over a tower of unwashed bowls. She gasped and tried catching them, but only succeeded in knocking over two more. "Po! What are you doing up there?"

"Uh.." She said as she gathered up the bowls in her arms. "Nothing!" She restacked the bowls and looked around her room. Her gaze rested on her action figures that were settled on her window sill. "HI-YA! Monkey, Mantis, Crane, Viper, Tiger! RAAAA-uh." She immediately stopped when she found her across the street neighbor awkwardly staring at her. She chuckled embarrassedly and pointed to her action figures, but soon ducked under the window's view. On the ground, she found a ninja star which she picked up, but stopped in her movement when she heard her mother call up the stairs a third time.

"Po! Let's go! You're late for work!"

"Coming!" She tossed the star at a crudely drawn ox face at the wall nailing it in the drawing's eye, but it refused to stay in. She threw it a second time, hitting the ox's forehead, but again didn't stay. She gave up and simply took the ninja star with her and successfully tripped down the stairs. She looked up at her mother and sent her an apologetic look. "Sorry Mom."

"Sorry doesn't make the noodles." Po's mother replied as she set down a large stack of pots and bowls. "Now what were you doing up there? All that noise."

"Oh nothing. I just had a crazy dream." Po said as she placed the vegetables on the counter top.

"About what?" Po looked at her confused.

"What?" She asked her mom, silently asking her to elaborate on her question.

"What were you dreaming about?" Her mother asked again as she began chopping up the green celery.

"What was I…?" Po's mom looked at her genuinely interested in what her daughter was about to say. "I was dreaming about… Uh… Noodles." She said as she looked away from her mother and at the customers in front of her.

"Noodles? You were really dreaming about noodles?" Her mom asked bringing her large knife down on a thick cream colored vegetable. (You'll have to forgive me. I don't know what they're called. I would be grateful if someone told me.)

"Uh, yeah, what else would I be dreaming about?" Po asked not caring that she had accidentally place her ninja star in one of the customer's bowl of noodles. "Oh! Careful! That soup is… sharp."

"Oh happy day!" Mrs. Ping cried out, jumping around the kitchen looking for Po's noodle hat and apron. "My daughter finally having the noodle dream." She walked back over to Po with the objects and looked up at her. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this moment." She tied the apron around Po's waist and walked back in front of her. "This is a sign, Po."

"Uh, a sign of what?" She asked holding the noodle hat in her hands and looking at her mom.

"You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my Secret Ingredient Soup and then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant." Mrs. Ping hopped up on the counter with a wooden spoon and began pointing at the pictures of the female geese on the far kitchen wall. "Just as I took it over from my mother, who took it over from her mother, who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong."

"Mom, mom, mom. It was just a dream." Po said, chuckling quietly to herself as she watched her mother prepare two bowls of soup for waiting customers, but remained focus on her daughter.

"No it was _the_ dream. We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins."

"But, mom, didn't you ever, you know, want to do something else? Something besides noodles?" Po asked her mom who hopped off the counter and continued chopping vegetables.

"Actually, when I was young and crazy, I though about running away and learning how to make tofu."

"So why didn't you?" Po pressed on.

"Oh, because it was a stupid dream. Can you imagine me making tofu?" She laughed at the whole idea gently rubbing the sharp edge of her current knife with one of her feathers. "No! We all have our place in this world. Mine is here and yours is-"

"I know. Is here." Po finished for her mom.

"No." Po's eyes widened, thinking that her mom figured out her kung fu obsession, but unfortunately she did not. "It's at tables 2, 5, 7, and 12." She threw six bowls at her daughter, knowing that Po would catch them before she placed the noodle hat on her daughter's head. "Service with a smile." She brought her feathers to the corners of Po's lips and pulled the back into a makeshift smile. Po sighed and looked up at the mountain. Rested upon the mountain was the Jade Palace and on the Jade Palace was a red panda playing a bamboo flute. This red panda was Master Shi.

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There's chapter one for you and I hope you like the rest of this story, which I will eventually get done. I am a very slow person, but I think I'll just finish all of my stories and put the chapters on day by day so um... I'm sorry for all of those who love my stories and are dying to read them and you hate me for starting another story that I'm probably not going to finish anytime soon. So again sorry, but I will update my stories eventually and hopefully soon. So read and tell me what you think!


	2. The Announcement

Hey so here's the second chapter to the genderbent story. I hope you like it and I don't own the kung fu panda characters. So please read and be happy! I would also like reviews.

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Up at the Jade Palace Master Shi, a small female red panda, was playing a short little tune on her bamboo flute while around her her students, the furious five, slunk around her. Behind a large rock and bush hid masters Tiger and Monkey, who preferred to be called Monk by her fellow masters, but Master Shi refused to call her student by ridiculous nicknames. Master Tiger looked down at Master Monk and nodded at her as their master's song came to an end. Then spiraling down one of the palace pillars, Master Viper, Vipe to the other masters, slid down and spotted Master Shi.

In a fury rush, the hidden masters began attacking Master Shi all at once, but with a flash of her ice cold, blue eyes, she dodged Vipe's attack followed by Tiger's after she gave Master Crane a sharp thwack on the head with her bamboo flute and dodged Monk's attack as well. Then she blocked another attack from Crane and shoved Monk away with her bamboo flute. After words, Master Tiger attacked Master Shi from behind her back, but Shi blocked his attack and flipped Tiger over her while also knocking Mantis, Manny to anyone else, back making everyone stand in attack formation around their master.

"Well done, students." Master Shi commented as they all bowed to her. "_IF_ you were trying to disappoint me." After she pointed to all of her students and began telling them what they needed to work on. "Tiger, you need more ferocity. Monkey, greater speed. Crane, height. Viper, subtlety. Mantis-"

"Master Shi." Said a small palace goose.

"What?" Master Shi asked sharply pointing her flute at the goose who jumped away quickly in fear of being hit or something worse.

"It's Master Wei. (A/N: Pronounced Way)" Said the frightened goose. "She wants to see you." Master Shi rushed to the Hall of Warriors and slid a few feet before she drew a deep breath and bowed to her master.

"Master Wei, you summoned me? Is something wrong?" In front of her, an ancient turtle balanced on a long thin wooden staff and slowly brought herself off the staff and onto the ground.

"Why must something be wrong for me to want to see my old friend?" Master Wei asked as she slowly walked to a long line of lit candles.

"So nothing's wrong?" Shi asked as she watched her elderly master walk to the candle stand.

"Well, I didn't say that." Then she proceeded in singly blowing out a few candles. One… Two… Three… Four… Five… and at six, Master Shi lost patience with her master and blew out all the candles in one rush of air.

"You were saying?" Master Shi inquired as she watched her master stare down at the now sizzled out candle in despair.

"I have had a vision." She turned to Shi. "Tai Lee will return." Then Master Shi fell into the depths of her mind and had a rough flash back of the snow leopardess attacking her, knocking Shi out of her moment of despair.

"That is impossible. She is in prison." Shi exclaimed to her master.

"Nothing is impossible." Master Wei said making her student look at her in shock.

"Zeng!" She shouted for the messenger goose. "Fly to Chorh-Gom Prison and tell them to double the guards, double the weapons, double everything! Tai Lee does not leave that prison!"

"Yes, Master Shi!" Zeng exclaimed and flew off, but accidentally flew into one of the decorated pillars. Though he quickly regained himself and began his long journey to the frozen mountains where Chorh-Gom was made.

"One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it." Master Wei said as she walked to the moon pool.

"We have to do something! We can't just let him march into the valley and take his revenge. He'll… He'll-"

"You're mind is like this water, my friend." Master Wei said as she pointed to it. "When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see, but if you allow it to settle," She gentle tapped the water causing a ripple that settled the water immediately which showed a reflection of a golden dragon holding a scroll in its mouth. "The answer becomes clear."

They both looked up at the golden dragon and Master Shi knew what her master was hinting at. "The Dragon Scroll."

"It is time." Wei said quietly.

"But who? Who is worthy with the secret to limitless power? To become the Dragon Warrior?" There was a moment of silence before Master Wei answered.

"I don't know."

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Down at the noodle shop, Po helped serve her mother's customers while squeezing past the closely placed tables. She repeatedly apologized and said, "Excuse me," more that just a couple times. She tried squeezing past a couple tables, but a grumpy lady whacked her stomach. "Hey! Watch it, Po." She grumbled.

"Sorry!" She apologized to the woman and sucked in her stomach while she stood upright and slightly jolted the tables she was stuck between, but then her short little tail accidentally fell into a small rabbit's soup. "Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! I'll get you another-" BOOONG! Everyone's attention went to the front of the shop where two Jade Palace geese and a palace pig were hanging up a sign that said, "Grand Master Wei is choosing the Dragon Warrior today at the Jade Palace arena."

Po quickly ran to the sign with two bowls of noodles still in her hands and read the sign out loud before she almost went completely crazy. "Master Wei is choosing the Dragon Warrior today! I bet I know whose going to get it!" She squealed to herself. "Everyone! Everyone!" She shouted getting their attention as she placed the bowls on a random table. "Go! Get to the Jade Palace! One of the five is going to get the Dragon Scroll! We've been waiting a thousand year for this! Just take the bowl!" She said to a rabbit that was shoving as many noodles into their mouth as she could. "This is the greatest day in kung fu history!" She said to an old rabbit who was placing a small tip on the table. Po grabbed the money and threw it back into the rabbit's pocket, though none of the coins made it in. "Don't worry about it! Just go!" She began running to the entrance, but her mother stopped her.

"Po! Where are you going?" She asked Po as she got a small cart ready.

"To the Jade Palace." Po said inching her way to the door.

"But you're forgetting your noodle cart!" Mrs. Ping said placing a large pot full of noodles onto the cart and pushed it toward her daughter.

"Selling noodles? But Mom I was kind of thinking maybe I…" She started.

"Yeah?" Her mother said nodding to her daughter.

"I was kind of thinking maybe I…" She said again, hoping her mother would get the hint, but unfortunately she did not.

"Uh-huh?" Po sighed in defeat.

"Could also sell the bean buns." She said trying to look happy though she was incredibly upset and full of disappointment. "They're… They're about to go bad."

"That's my girl!" Mrs. Ping said as she ran back to the kitchen. "I told you that dream was a sign!"

"Yeah." Po chuckled unhappily. "Glad I had it."

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Up at the Jade Palace arena, people from all over the valley were celebrating with everything they had. Two little bunny children were running around with pinwheels claiming to be kung fu warriors while two adult pig were looking for a few seats to sit in while more and more geese, rabbits, and pigs were climbing the mountain of stairs and at the very, very, very bottom was Po. She swallowed nervously and began up the stairs.

After a little while of climbing the stairs, Po was already out of breath. "Come on, come on!" Then suddenly, she looked back down the stair and found she had only traveled about 10 steps. "No! Oh no!" She cried as she pouted on the stairs. Then two pigs walked up to her and looked at her sadly.

"Sorry, Po." One said, patting Po's shoulder.

"We'll bring you back a souvenir." The other said and then the two went off, leaving Po at the bottom of the steps. Then it suddenly hit her.

"No. I'll bring me back a souvenir." After that, she took off her hat and apron and began running up the stairs.

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So there's the second chapter! I hope you all know that I'm actually writing most of this off the top of my head. When I'm not, I'm in the living room with the Kung Fu Panda movie on and I repeatedly pause and play it. Because I hate it when people write stories that are supposed to be like the movie, but they don't have all of the lines right. My family are extreme movie fanatics. We quote movie lines all the time and if I really wanted to I could recite the entire Kung Fu Panda movie from the top of my head because I've seen it so many times and I remember so much. Well anyway! Please read and review and I'll love you all forever!


	3. The Tournament

Hey! I am so sorry for not updating this a whole lot sooner! Band and school are getting in my way! Thank you for all of those people who are still actually reading this story! But I promise after tomorrow's competition at BSU, I will do a little better at updating! Well here chapter three! I hope you like it!

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"Let the tournament begin!" The announcer pig said, hitting a small gong with an even smaller mallet.

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After a long few minutes, Po finally got to the top of the stairs, though she did crawl most of the way up. She rolled up onto the top step and lied there for a moment. She groaned before she punched the air in victory. "Yeah! Ha ha!" Suddenly, the large wooden doors began closing on her. "Oh no! No-no-no wait! I'm coming! Wait-wait! Yes!" But the doors slammed in her face. "Ow!" She said falling to the ground, holding up her finger as if she were to declare something important. "Hey!" She shouted as she began pounding on the door. "Open the door!" But unfortunately, the pig drummers inside the arena began playing at the same speed she was pounding, so she went unheard. "Let me in!" She said desperately seeking a way inside the area.

"Citizens of the Valley of Peace," Master Shi began. She jogged over to a stone window and reached for it, pulling herself up to see inside. "It is my great honor to present to you, Tiger! Viper! Crane! Monkey! Mantis!" Po finally got up to the window and peered inside. "The Furious Five!" Po giggled in glee as the five warriors appears from it seemed like no where.

They all began falling down to the ground, swirling around each other and once at the center of the arena began to show off their Kung Fu as if it were a beautiful dance of warriors. Suddenly, Master Crane created a large gust of wind with her wings, causing Po to burst into giggled again until a wooden board slammed against her face, closing the window she was at.

"Warriors, prepare!" Po heard Master Shi yell. Scrambling to her feet, she began mumbling to herself, saying something about a peaky-hole, which was a small hole in the door which seemed to be worn away because of one thing or another. "Ready for battle!" Po quickly hunched down to look through it before the first champion went to battle.

Inside the arena, Crane stood positioned in front of a Dragon-shaped firework holder. Po gasped. "The Thousand Tongues of Fire!" She began cheering in her own giddy way.

Inside, a large pig exclaimed and pointed to the dragon. "Whoa, look at that!" Unfortunately, the pig got right in Po's way.

"Hey! Get out of the way!" She shouted just as the pig on top of the dragon head lit the fuse to the fireworks. Suddenly, Crane took to the sky carefully avoiding all of the randomly aimed fireworks until she was completely surrounded with no way out. Po backed up to look at all of the whole battle, but didn't realize she was getting closer to the edge of the stairs and right as all of the fireworks headed to Crane, she stumbled down the stairs causing her to miss what Crane had done. Once she got up, she looked to the sky to try and find a little glimpse of what had happened, but she failed.

Groaning, she set her jaw and began trying many different way to get inside the arena, but all failed. First, she tried to punch the door open, which only succeeded in her popping her knuckles painfully. Second, she tried to pole vault the wall with a flimsy bamboo stick. She also tried to rope together a few trees in order to catapult herself into the place, but that too failed. So she decided to just sit out front of the doors on the stairs all the while, the people were cheering for the warriors and their accomplishments. "And finally, Master Tiger!" The crowd went wild inside and Po stiffened. Then quicker than lightning, she roped the highest branch on the large tree next to the arena and began pulling it down. "Believe me, citizens." Master Shi started. "You have not seen anything yet!"

"I KNOW!" Po yelled back grunting, still trying to haul the tree down.

"Master Tiger, face Iron Ox and his blades of Death." Suddenly, Po was thrown into the air, giving the panda girl a mere glimpse of Master Tiger in ready position, but just as she came down she hit the gate decorations and fell down, _outside_ of the arena and onto a fireworks stand.

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Suddenly, Grand Master Wei closed her eyes and raised her shaking hand, silencing the crowd and turning everyone's head without doing anything. She slowly opened her eyes and began to speak. "I sense the Dragon Warrior is among us." Getting the unspoken message, Master Shi turned to her students and nodded. Tiger looked around confused before he got in line with all of the other masters.

"Citizens of the Valley of Peace, Master Wei will now choose the Dragon Warrior." Jolting up from her spot on the fireworks stand, Po sat up and burst out in a fury of protesting words. Then, lifting up one of the fireworks in her hand, she got a sudden idea.

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Inside the arena, the pig drummers pounded away on their drums while Grand Master Wei began walking, in her own special way, waving her arms around gracefully as if she was searching the air for the correct person.

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Outside, Po was playing around with a couple objects and once she moved out of the way it revealed a small wooden chair with dozens of fireworks strapped to it. She laughed excitedly at her work.

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Grand Master Wei continued down the stairs and Po cackled at the lit match in her hand, but just as she lit the fuse, her mother ran up the stairs, asking worriedly what she was doing with her daughter's apron and hat in hand.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Po asked rhetorically. "Stop-stop! I'm going to go see the Dragon Warrior." She said slightly louder than was needed. Inside, Grand Master Wei's dance/walk got closer to the anxiously warriors.

"But I don't understand." Po's mother said. "You finally had the noodle dream."

"I lied." Po admitted without much thought. "I don't dream about noodle, mom." The panda looked down at the shortly lit fuse that closed in on the firework itself. "I love Kung- Fuuu-uuuu-uuuu!" She groaned slightly and realized that she had not taken off to the sky like she had wanted. She looked down at the ground and accidentally fell over onto her face. Sniffing and lower lip trembling, she looked at her mother who picked up her apron.

"Come on, Hon. Let's get back to work." Po sighed and quietly agreed, lifting herself slowly off the ground, but seconds later the firework chair burst into fire-y colors and sent Po shooting forward into the wall. Po's mother exclaimed in shock before yelling, "Come back!" But it was too late. Po went rocketing up into the sky, holding onto the rocket chair for dear life until it came to the climax of the arch and she went tumbling back down to Earth, screaming and flailing all the way. Right in the center of the arena ring.

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When she opened her eyes, everything was slightly blurred. She opened her eyes and first saw Master Manny standing in front of her along with all of the other four Kung Fu masters. When she turned her head the only the she saw was just a hand pointing at her. Confused, she started asking herself questions. "Where, uh… What are you pointin'…?" But she suddenly got the message. Or so she thought. "Oh! Okay, sorry. I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was." Po said still kneeling on the ground.

"How interesting." Grand Master Wei said as Po got off of the ground and stared at Grand Master Wei's finger that still pointed at her.

"Master, are you pointing at me?" Master Tiger said, instantly getting Po's attention what with his dark red/orange eyes and deep rolling voice. Po nodded at the thought.

"Her." Grand Master Wei said gesturing to Po again.

"Who?" Po asked. She looked down at Master Wei's finger and began trying to get out of its way, but it continued to follow her where ever she went.

"You."

"Me?"

"The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!" Grand Master Wei announced proudly holding up Po's hand with the end of her staff which caused a ripple of "What?"s to emerge from many people. First from Po, then the Five, then Shi, and then finally Mrs. Ping who peaked through the doors. The same announcing pig hit the small gong again, but quickly after was yelled at by Master Shi as the entire crowd went wild, throwing confetti everywhere, confusing everyone in the center circle.

Rushing quickly, a huge line of palace geese ran down the stairs with a carrier in tow. "Stop! Wait!" Master Shi shouted angrily. "Who told you to…?" Furious, she ran down the stair to her master. Hesitantly, Po got onto the carrier and the four (poor) palace geese slowly began taking Po up the large flight of stairs. "Master Wei, wait. That flabby panda cannot be the answer to _our problem_. You were about to point at Tiger and that _thing_ fell in front of him. That was just an accident." Master Shi explained.

"There are no accidents." Grand Master Wei said assuredly. Suddenly, a large cracking noise came from the carrier Po was on and they found Po had fallen through the bottom of the fragile carrier. Master Shi gestured to the "accident" that had happened, but Master Wei refused, in her own way, to admit that she was wrong. Four other palace pigs came to the assistance of the geese in trying to haul Po up the stairs.

With her eyes still twitching, Tiger and the other four masters walked up to their master, but only Tiger fell to one knee bowing down to his master. "Forgive us, Master." He said. "We have failed you."

"No." Shi said sharply holding up her hand to silence the tiger. "If the panda has not quit by morning, then I will have failed _you_."

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Sooooooo… I'M SOOOO SORRY EVERYONE WHO REALLY LIKES THIS AND IS ANGRY WITH ME FOR NOT UPDATING! I promise that after this week I will update a lot more. I kind of forgot about this for a while but that you for all of you who kept me going. I don't own Kung Fu Panda by the way! Just so you know. Well please read and review and I promise to keep updating! But only in you review!


	4. Chorh-Gom Prison

Yo! Sorry again everybody who reads this. I forgot my password and I've been lazy and I didn't want to go and reset it again, but I did anyway. So here's chapter 4 of my Genderbent Kung Fu Panda story! Yay! Celebration! Anyway.

Natural disclaimer; I don't own anything Kung Fu Panda related. So on with the story! YAY!

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Flying through a snow-white blizzard was poor Zeng. Panting like nothing else with a large scroll in his hand. Poor little guy. Off in the distance, a large rhino guard was watching as Zeng flew past many miles of snow covered ground and headed toward the large fortress that had been called Chorh-Gom Prison. Crashing to the ground and toward the door, two large rhinos held spear up to his frightened face. "W-wait, wait, wait. I bring a message..." Zeng paused. The two rhinos didn't look convinced. "from Master Shifu." He added making the two rhino grin at the scared goose.

The gates opened with a large clang and, from the corner of the upper the head guard, commander(ess) Vachir yelled, "What?" She was rereading the scroll the puny little goose had given her. "Double the guard? Extra precaution? Your prison many not be adequate?" The small goose grinned up nervously at the female guard. Vachir jabbed the end of the scroll into Zeng's small chest. "You doubt my prison's security?" She asked. The two other female guards behind Zeng look down at him angrily and belligerently.

"Absolutely not." Zeng said respectfully before he continued. "Shifu does. I'm just the messenger." He gulped loudly.

"I'll give you a message for your Master Shifu." Vachir said while Zeng nodded nervously. "Escape from Chorh-Gom prison is impossible!" She yelled walking over the bridge that was built above the rest. Zeng looked over the edge of the bridge and yelped as Vachir smacked his back with her large hand on his back, chuckling. "Impressive, isn't it?"

_(Secretly and stealthily, a feather flew from Zeng desperate to be free and soon found itself free-falling down and down and down.)_

"It's very impressive. It's-It's very impressive." Zeng stuttered out staring down fearfully at the giant hole in the mountain.

"One way in, one way out, one thousand guards, and one prisoner." Vachir said smugly.

"Yes, except that prisoner is Tai Lung." Zeng said, utterly freaked out. _(Reminds me of Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. "Oh! D-d-d-dear!")_ The duo walked toward a large miniature building with other guards on it. One of the sneered at the two.

"Take us down." Vachir said to one of her fellow guards as they entered an elevator-like carrier. As they descended, Vachir playfully swung the carrier from side to side, getting whimpering sounds from the frightened goose.

"What are you doing?" The goose asked as Vachir just laughed and continued swinging. Once they came to the bottom of the pit, the large gates that held Tai Lung were opened and Zeng whimpered even more. "Oh my." He said silently to himself as the draw bridge lowered to the isolated island.

"Behold, Tai Lung." Vachir said dramatically. Zeng visually paled.

"I'll um... I'm just gonna wait right here." Zeng told the commander, smiling trying to be nice.

"It's nothing to worry about. It's perfectly safe." Vachir said, ramming her hand into Zeng's back once again. Zeng grunted as he was pushed toward the bridge. "Crossbows! At the ready!"

"Crossbows?" Zeng questioned frighteningly.

"Hey, tough guy, did you hear? Wei's giving someone the Dragon Scroll, and it's not gonna be you." Vachir said with a large smirk on her face.

"What are you doing? Don't get her mad!" Zeng said obviously scared.

"What's she gonna do about it? I've got her completely immobilized." Vachir said. Soon after she crushed Tai Lung's spotted tail with her foot. Zeng flinched as Vachir laughed. "Aww. Did I step on the wittle kitty's tail? Aww." He said mocking the warrior(ess) under the tortoise shell made by Master Wei herself.

"I'm good! I've seen enough." Zeng said fearfully. "I'll tell Shifu he's got nothing to worry about." Zeng said.

"No he doesn't." Vachir said.

"I'll tell him that." Zeng said. "Can we please go now?" He asked as the left the island.

Slow and majestically, Zeng's feather floated elegantly down and down until it landed softly in front of Tai Lung. Suddenly, red demon eyes glared into the darkness and fell upon the small feather. She picked up the feather with her tail and glared at the darkness once again before...

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The end of the chapter! MWAHAHAHA! I'm sorry again for not updating. I'm probably going to promise to do a better job of it again and again I'm probably not going to be a good updater, but I'll try a little harder this time! Hope you like the chapter! Favorite is to motivation as review is to update! Soooooo **review and favorite and I'll **most likely** update more!** Tell your friends and I'll try and do a better job! I love you all who actually read this!


	5. The Sacred Hall of Warriors

Hey sorry it has taken me so long to update my stories. I have no good excuses other than I am forgetful and I'm too lazy to get up and start writing and I'm too lazy to go and get the movie to pause and play it for a half an hour. So anyway I don't own Kung Fu Panda or the plot idea and any other things that I have forgotten to disclaim. Here's the chapter! Hope you like it! Plus I have a tip at the end that only you all can do to make me update more! Read it!

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Back at the Jade Palace, Po was currently still being hauled up the stairs by the 4 palace pigs (who were tired from carrying her up so many flights, but still had smiles on their faces). Once they got to the top, the 4 pigs together dumped Po out of the carrier and backed out of the building they took her too. Po grunted out, "Wait a second." as she hit the floor and turned around to see them leaving. The doors closed as she got to her feet and walked to the door to open it.

"Um... I think there might be a slight mistake." She said getting close to the door. "Everyone seems to think that I'm.. Uh..." She began look around her and slowly put together where she had been roughly put. Her mouth gaped open wide as she silently gasped. "The Sacred Hall of Warriors. No... WAY! Look at this place!" She giggled as she walked further into the large green-blue glowing hall. Suddenly something caught her eye. She gasped. "Master Flying Rhino's armor, with authentic battle damage!" Something else caught her eye and this started her pinball routine bouncing from one thing to another excitedly. "Whoa! The sword of Hero! Said to be so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking. Ow!" She felt a sharp pain in her finger and immediately put the said finger in her mouth. She gasped again. "The invisible trident of DESTINY!" She walked up to a painting and marveled at it. "I've only seen paintings of that painting."

Then she proceeded to run back and forth through the hall of warriors making all sorts of noises of delight while still admiring all of the sacred objects in the hall. Suddenly, she stops and gasps. "No oh ho ho ho ho!" She ran up to another object and stared at it with eagerness. "The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors. Said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu army." She reached her hand for it, but stopped. Then she proceeded to whisper into it. "_Hello?_" A voice replied.

"Have you finished sight-seeing?" Po gasped and apologized.

"_Sorry. I should've come to see you first._" The voice replied again.

"My patience is wearing thin." Po looked down at the urn confused and began talking in a normal voice.

"Oh.. well, I mean, it's not like you were going anywhere."

"Would you turn around?" The voice ordered.

"Sure." She turned around like the "whispering warrior" had asked and saw a small red panda standing by the indoor pool. "Hey, how's it going?" She waved before she began trying to look into the urn. "Now how do you get 5,000-" Suddenly, she realized who the red panda was and looked back at her immediately. "Master Shi!" CRASH! She quickly looked back and realized she had knocked over one of the many sacred artifacts in the hall. "OH!" She exclaimed looking down at the shattered urn. Green mist floated for a second out of the broken urn with a ghostly moan. "Someone broke that." She said to Master Shi, who looked downright unimpressed. "But I'm gonna fix it." She said getting on her knees to bring the pieces into one pile. A ghostly moan came from the urn every time she moved the pieces. "Do you have some glue?" She accidentally bumped the box it had been sitting on and she gasped in pain as it hit her. She looked down at her hand and winced. "Ooh ow." She took a breath in between her teeth. "I have a splinter." She spoke rushed.

Master Shi began to speak in a calm voice. "So you're the Legendary Dragon Warrior, hm?" Po looked up at her and stopped what she was doing.

"Uh... I guess so." Master Shi suddenly snapped at her.

"Wrong!" She started to speak in a silently threatening voice. "You are not the Dragon Warrior. You will never be the Dragon Warrior until you have learned the secret of the Dragon Scroll." She pointed up at the ceiling with her bamboo flute where there was a beautiful golden dragon holding a red, green, and gold scroll.

"Whoa." Po gaped again at another wondrous object in the hall. She looked back down at Master Shi and started rocking back and forth from her heels to her toes. "So how does this work? Do you have a ladder or trampoline or...?"

Master Shi glanced nicely at her flute. "You think it's that easy that I'm just going to hand you the secret to limitless power?" She looked up at Po, glaring.

"No I-" Po began, but was once again cut off by Master Shi.

"One must first master the highest level of Kung Fu and that is clearly impossible if that one is like you." Master Shi walked to Po.

"Someone like me?" Po asked as Master Shi examined her from all around.

"Yes. Look at you. This fat butt." She hit Po's bottom making her grunt. "and flabby arms." Po winced exclaiming as she was hit in the back of the arm which she grabbed in pain.

"Hey those are sensitive in the flabby parts." She was poked again by Master Shi flute and she turned to her.

"And this ridiculous belly." She poked Po's belly making Po take a step away from her and bumping the pile of broken urn pieces which moaned at being moved.

"Hey!" She said getting really offended by the great Kung Fu Master.

"And utter disregard for personal hygiene." Master Shi turned away from Po and put her hands behind her back.

"Now wait a minute that's a little uncalled for." She said taking a step toward Master Shi.

"Don't stand that close I can smell your breath." Master Shi put a small hand out trying to block the smell from her.

"Listen Wei said I was..." Po began pointing her finger in Master Shi's face and she replied by grabbing it between her pointer finger and thumb with her pinky up in the air. Suddenly, Po gasped realizing the significance of the finger position.

"The Wuxi Finger Hold." She began whimpering. "Not the Wuxi Finger Hold."

Master Shi chuckled at Po's fear. "Oh... You know this hold."

"Developed by Master Wuxi in the Third Dynasty, yes." Po explained nodding.

"Oh then you must know what happens when I flex my pinky." Po gasped, deathly afraid of the red panda now.

"No no." She pleaded.

"You know the hardest part of this?" She started to whisper. "_The hardest part is cleaning up afterwords._" Master Shi began chuckling again.

"Okay, okay take it easy." Po said wanting to get away from the scary teacher.

"Now listen closely Panda. Wei may have picked you, but when I'm through with you, I promise you, you're going to wish she hadn't." She said emphasizing the last three words and leaning closer to Po with each word. Then she leaned back. "Are we clear?"

"Yeah. We're clear. We're clear. We are SO clear." Po said trying to be as small as she could to hide from the overpowering Kung Fu master.

"Good." She laughed silently to herself. "I can't wait to get started."

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YAY! Another chapter done and over with! I'm sorry if you think the chapters are very short, but I write them pretty much where I think one chapter starts and another one ends. I can try to make them longer, but it's probably not going to happen. I don't have enough focus and patience to sit on my butt trying to make 3 of my chapters into one.  
Well **READ AND REVIEW**! **Make me feel guilty**. It's a really **good technique for making me update** faster and more often. I feel upset making people wait. Tell me to update a lot and I'll update more. **Thank you** for those **people who do review** and please **keep spotting my mistakes**! Those make me upset and will make me work harder. I don't own Kung Fu Panda! Just saying!


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